In a quiet corner of Serf Studios, Hamza Ashraf unravels his thoughts – ink on paper, skin on sheets. Reminding us, to confront our fears head-on. His work is both a confession and a call to action, a reminder of the courage it takes to let go. And truly BE.
Earlier this year, I was fortunate to experience some of Hamza’s work at a collective exhibition held at Serf Studios in Leeds. His emotionally immersive piece titled “What’s Left Of Me” captivated me instantly, pulling me into an unexpected release of emotions I hadn’t felt in a long time.
I found myself sitting cross-legged, headphones snugly pressed against my ears, completely absorbed. I listened. I watched. And as I watched, I thought – deeply. It felt oddly dangerous if I’m being honest, because as someone who self-defines as an “airhead,” my brain was working at full capacity. It was overwhelming yet exhilarating, a rare and powerful moment of connection through art.
Through his work, Hamza teaches us how to cry, how to love, and how to unravel, all in perfect unison. While focusing on “the disconnection between internal emotions and external perceptions, reflecting on … identity, shame and self- exposure.” (Ashraf, H. (2024) “What’s Left Of Me”) It feels otherworldly, like acrobatics within the spiritual realm.
Juxtaposing phrases like “I’m ready for this feeling to live outside my body,” “I want my life back,” and “I’m tired of harbouring this grief” penned onto towering cascades of paper tumbling from the walls and pooling onto the floor, highlights Hamza’s commanding ability and use of multimedia. He doesn’t just evoke emotion; he translates it into physical form. Allowing us to see, and almost touch, what it feels like to carry that weight he describes within the text.
Furthermore, Hamza’s work demonstrates his remarkable ability to evoke raw, unfiltered emotion through his writing. An example can be found in this powerful line from “What’s Left of Me”:
“I’ve lost the very thing I was most worried about – truly, I have nothing left to lose.”
These words flow across paper in harmony with the VHS film, unravelling a self-portrait in a myriad of forms. Together, they weave an immersive experience – poetic, intimate, and profoundly human.
Undoing fear and assembling art works that remind us to live again.
I was lucky enough to get a chance to sit with Hamza and have a little chat about his work and process. In this Instagram interview Hamza opens up about: staying connected to art, facing his fears and Beyonce! (Obviously).
What is the purpose within your artwork – What do you wish it could say to others?
“I think for me it’s a sense of belonging, because I don’t often see a lot of queer South Asian artists write about their experiences … or make work about their lived experiences.
So I wish I could say to others, it’s sort of like a mirror for them to look at and know that they’re not alone.”
What is something you wish you could convey within your work that you haven’t so far?
“I would say probably my childhood …There’s aspects of my childhood and my teenage experiences that feed into how I am as an adult, and I think that in and of itself is a quite an interesting perspective to look back into when it comes to making personal work That is introspective and almost interrogating … a person and their complete emotional well-being. And I think that’s something that I haven’t at all. But I have in some senses. But I’m also quite excited to do that with the new body of work I’m creating at the minute.”
What helps you face your fears creatively?
“To be brutally honest, a lot of pep talk … I don’t think it takes a lot. There are times … I feel like the ground beneath me is going to sink me in, type of feeling before putting something out and having, a really good support system really helps me, face those fears. I think also, trying to remind myself that no one in the room is going to look at my work and just be quite utterly like ‘I don’t resonate with it’. Most of our experiences are universal, even though they might be quite specific to us, so I think that also makes me less fearful about being honest about myself.”
When I have experienced your work, I have felt free – Are you?
“100% Opening night or posting … is the moment where I feel the most free. Because I’m not holding on to it anymore. I’ve sort of, let it go. In a way, it almost becomes part of everyone else. So, the belonging aspect and feeling free… it also comes with fears, of fear and freedom almost go hand in hand.”
What is an emotion you have struggled to articulate within your work?
“I would say contentment, mainly because … I’m not there yet. So, I think … it’s hard to sort of figure out how to convey that emotion. And I think that’s something that I think will eventually come with time. I’m still in my early 20s, and I think … I’m in the period or phase of just being very all over the place. So, contentment is something that I haven’t reached yet.”
Which medium helps you the most when overcoming creative blocks?
“It always has been and always will be. Writing and journaling. Actively, at this point, I think I have like four or three journals I rotate … depending on what I’m specifically trying to write about. If it’s personal stuff, it’s my personal journal. If it’s my art journal, then that’s where the roadblock I have with my art …. I think it’s always been my way of, tuning everything else out and just focusing on the roadblock I have personally. And just interrogating myself, writing it down and sort of reading it back. It sort of gives me more clarity between where to go from here.”
Is there something that helps keep you connected to art?
“I feel like almost everything does like music, Whatever I’m watching something that I hear from someone, a story from a friend, or maybe an old photo I took. I think if you look for it, you can almost feel connected to everything around you. I think I have a hard time disconnecting from it. I don’t think I’ve ever had an issue with not deviating from it at all.”
Have you ever felt like giving up?
“Quite literally, all the time. I think recently was last week maybe because of burnout. Even though I keep saying to myself, I feel like giving up … I’m tired. But then, I don’t really know what else to do, really. So, it’s just… you know, I dust myself off and I’m like, okay, let’s get back on it again.”
Financially, it’s tough to stay afloat as an artist. What are some tips you would give to others who are following the same path?
“I wouldn’t really know what to say to that. Mainly because I’m quite privileged enough that I still get support from my parents and at the same time, it would be dumb to pretend like I am a struggling artist. Well, to be fair, I am, because I don’t get to make money off my art most of the time. I think based off everyone around me and based off of how the industry is at the minute, I think it it’s quite difficult to be freelancing and sustaining oneself through art unless, you just blow up instantly. And I think reminding yourself that. It is a long road. It takes a huge time to get to a place where you would like to go to. So definitely to be kinder to yourself, I would say so.”
What has kept you going?
“This will sound very bizarre, but for the longest time since I was in high school, I wrote down a list of things that I wanted to do and even concepts I wanted to work on. Once I finish that list, I think I’ll be fine. Making …. Finishing that list is what’s keeping me going. And then once I’m done with that, then art wise, I’ll be content I think … I’ve done what I want to do and I’m like, yeah, whatever, I’m finished with this”
What is the biggest obstacle you have faced as an artist?
“I think personally, for me, my biggest obstacle is that I’m often not given the chance to prove myself. I think particularly in terms of just post-grad trying to aim for opportunities or, experiences I don’t want to put myself forward for or I think it’s obstacle…, I feel like I’m not being given the chance to … at least try. I think that’s probably like my biggest annoyance … I try not to let that get to me a lot. But, you know, mainly because it’s so many different factors that go into it. But I’ll probably say that for sure.”
If money was no object, what body of work would you create?
“Basically, I’d just be Beyoncé really. If money was no object. Honestly, I think it would really help … Everything. I don’t know, if money was no object I wouldn’t be listing it, I’d just do it. I think that’s pretty much it. I want something, big. I want something that says I’m here. Beyoncé!”
🎨 Where to Find Hamza 🎨
Beyond the studio stay connected with Hamza’s latest endeavours on Instagram 📷 and his website 💗
Before you go 🥹 don’t miss this little gallery ⬆️ featuring some of Hamza’s self portraits and polaroid artistry 😘
What do you think?
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